She won't believe you when you tell her you love her. She won't look at you and think about love. She won't understand why you got her flowers. She won't text you first. She doesn't understand why you even try so hard.
She would understand if you left. She never expected you to stay.
She's not trying to be cold, but she just lost herself along the way. She lost that giggly feeling inside when you meet someone new. She misses the way she laughed so loud at a funny joke. She's not trying to push you away, she just doesn't understand how to let her wall down. She might like those flowers you set on the counter, but she'll never tell you that. You might get a smile but she's not trying to be rude, she just doesn't look at things the same way she use too.
She don't have that sparkle in her eyes anymore because love doesn't look the same to her. She feels hurt. She's afraid to accept happiness because of being let down constantly. She gave up. Now, she's just numb. So please understand the girl you're fighting so hard for, hasn't had someone to fight for her in so long. She forgot how it felt to be wanted. She accepted the fact she was hard to love, and quit expecting people to stay. She thought it was okay to feel the pain she felt. She just quit trying to understand. She quit trying to figure out why love never was her thing, she just woke up everyday blaming herself.
If you want that girl who's hard to love to stay, be there for her. Keep buying those flowers. Keep texting her good morning and letting her know you are thinking about her. Keep trying to find ways to make her smile because you have no idea how bad she wants to give you a chance. Keep giving her compliments, she's not felt beautiful in a long time. Give her trust, let her know you are there to listen not judge. Be her shoulder to lean on. Let her be herself, let her act silly and let her laugh way too loud and don't try to change her. Understand she's one of a kind and she just wants to be understood. She won't expect you to stay but she wants you too. She don't mean to scare you, because she's afraid of you too. When she's crying, don't be afraid to hold her because she wants to feel safe.
She's not all that bad, really. She wants to be happy, she wants you to change her mind. She wants to feel normal again. She wants to know that she deserves happiness too. So please don't give up on that girl who's hard to love, she's trying.
With Love, Sarah Mae
Thank you Sarah for this post. It helps me to think that the girl I love might just had a hard time with me and is struggling to trust me again. It feels like our hearts got between us. I wish Jesus could be with us, so thinks would turn out good and lovely again. I wish all conflict could be resolved between us. I hope the future holds salvation for my best friend and me. I would know that this comes from god alone. But right now I really need jesus for this realtionship.
ReplyDeleteI fear to think that she just might turn into a memorie like back then.
I pray in jesus name for every releationship. loving is hard, I get that now! But it can be wonderfull too.
Maybe I just have to thank god for leading me through all this.
God bless you, Sarah!